Ep. 51 - Bonds, all the Bonds! part 6

This transcript was automatically generated and might contain errors.

[0:00] J.J.: Welcome back, everybody! It is another exciting episode that we are talking about today.

[0:10] Olaf: We are going to continue with the franchise that we've been already talking about, and that is our dive into the James Bond saga.

[0:18] J.J.: More specifically, the Roger Moore era.

[0:21] Olaf: Yeah, we're in the grind right now. The Bond franchise as a whole has a lot of peaks and valleys. The Roger Moore, maybe because he did seven of these, maybe there's more valleys than peaks.

[0:33] J.J.: And they feel so much longer than they actually are.

[0:36] Olaf: We're doing a lot of the hard work for you, everybody. We're doing this so you don't have to.

[0:40] J.J.: Sit back and enjoy the nuggets that we get from watching these movies, some good, some really bad.

[0:49] Olaf: So let's get back into the movie theater, because today we are talking about Moonraker and For Your Eyes Only.

[0:57] J.J.: Now, I know for a fact that this is one of your favorites.

[1:22] Olaf: Just to be clear, Moonraker is utter garbage. Moonraker is the Bond franchise's answer to Star Wars.

[1:32] J.J.: And this is the reason why, like we said in the previous episode, at the end of Spy Who Loved Me, it says James Bond is going to return in For Your Eyes Only. However, Star Wars comes out the same year as Spy Who Loved Me, so I guess we're not doing For Your Eyes Only, we're going to space with Moonraker.

[1:50] Olaf: We're shifting gears, but we're going to do it right. Star Wars made the mistake of just being in space the entire movie.

[1:58] J.J.: We're not going to do that.

[2:00] Olaf: No. Nobody wants to see that.

[2:02] J.J.: Uh-uh. We're going to save it until the last 20 minutes.

[2:07] Olaf: Exactly. So we have Moonraker, came out 1979. The Rotten Tomatoes is 59%.

[2:16] J.J.: That's high.

[2:17] Olaf: I thought you'd say that.

[2:19] J.J.: That's really high. It seems a bit high.

[2:22] Olaf: I don't know why it's 59. You would think it would be much lower.

[2:27] J.J.: The audience score, 43%.

[2:29] Olaf: That seems about right.

[2:31] J.J.: More realistic.

[2:32] Olaf: Yeah. I don't know what the critics, that's like generous.

[2:36] J.J.: They're being very generous with that 56.

[2:38] Olaf: Yeah, that makes no sense to me.

[2:41] J.J.: No. They should both be in the 40s or lower.

[2:44] Olaf: Easily in the 40s, yeah. This is directed by Lewis Gilbert.

[2:48] J.J.: It's his final James Bond movie. He did You Only Live Twice and The Spy Who Loved Me.

[2:53] Olaf: He had his own peaks and valleys there.

[2:55] J.J.: Yeah. You Only Live Twice, not great. We've talked about that already. Spy Who Loved Me, amazing.

[3:00] Olaf: If you've heard my Bond-less episode, it's my favorite Roger Moore movie.

[3:04] J.J.: Roger Moore Bond movie. To be more accurate, he had valleys and peaks.

[3:08] Olaf: Roger Moore or Lewis Gilbert or both?

[3:10] J.J.: Lewis Gilbert, because he started low, went high, finished low.

[3:14] Olaf: Man, he did. John Barry's still giving us the music for Bond.

[3:18] J.J.: And then as far as who's in this cast, we really only have three people we need to mention.

[3:25] Olaf: Lois Childs is Holly Goodhead, classic Bond name. Michael Lonsdale is Hugo Drax. And Richard Kiel's back as Jaws.

[3:34] J.J.: I don't know why, but yes, he is.

[3:36] Olaf: Well, Jaws is great. And everybody loved him when he was in it last.

[3:42] J.J.: And when he's in this one, for the first half of his appearance.

[3:46] Olaf: Well, you can't see everybody. It's me nodding no to everything that's happening right now.

[3:51] J.J.: Before he makes his sudden switch of love at first sight. Now I'm a good guy.

[3:58] Olaf: He's still that intimidating brute that we knew from the previous film. So it's like, oh, cool. Yeah, Jaws is back. You don't dislike Jaws until all of a sudden he's like, I'm in love.

[4:13] J.J.: But here's my issue. Here's my issue. Because the first time we see Jaws in this movie is in the opening scene.

[4:20] Olaf: Very randomly, I might add. Bond is on this plane with this flight attendant.

[4:26] J.J.: And it's like a private plane. It's with this flight attendant and then the pilot. And then all of a sudden, for no reason whatsoever.

[4:32] Olaf: He just appears. Before that, they hold Bond at gunpoint. And they're like, sorry. We don't know why he's on this plane. If he's in mid-mission, we're not sure what that is.

[4:44] J.J.: He just looks like he's seducing the flight attendant. And then she pulls a gun at him. And then, yes, Bond gets pushed out of the plane by Jaws.

[4:53] Olaf: Where was he? That plane isn't that big. It's a small plane. There's no establishing shot that Jaws is there. He just shows up.

[5:03] J.J.: It is so bizarre. I was re-watching it. It's been a while. And I saw that. And I was like, wait. And I went back. Because I was like, maybe I'm two minutes in. And I'm already bored.

[5:16] Olaf: So, I'm looking at my phone. Maybe I missed that part.

[5:19] J.J.: You're scrolling already.

[5:20] Olaf: No. He just shows up. He's just there. Because the other guy who has the gun at him at Bond shoots towards the pilot section to shoot out the plane.

[5:31] J.J.: So, Jaws wasn't sitting in there.

[5:33] Olaf: No. Unless Jaws was in the bathroom. Hiding. That's my only guess.

[5:38] J.J.: The whole time. I don't know. So, all of us, right away. Right away. I'm going, what? Okay. That's not Jaws' fault that he just materialized.

[5:51] Olaf: Maybe he was having lunch somewhere. And he just suddenly was teleported to the thing. And he's like, let me push Bond out of the plane.

[6:00] J.J.: This is their answer to Star Wars. They're trying to figure out how science fiction-y can we make this.

[6:05] Olaf: Yeah. For step one, getting Jaws onto that plane with no explanation. Because this whole opening sequence, which is very short and very rushed and not good.

[6:14] J.J.: I felt was trying to duplicate in some action-y way the Spy Who Loved Me opening.

[6:20] Olaf: With the skiing. Instead of skiing, we're going to have Bond skydive without a parachute. Which is, in and of itself, cool.

[6:27] J.J.: And he's got to then get to the guy with the parachute. Kick it up. Get the parachute. All this other stuff.

[6:33] Olaf: Well, I mean, other than a parachute being involved, I don't see the similarities.

[6:37] J.J.: Well, no. I just mean that they're trying to create this sort of cool piece of action for Bond to do.

[6:43] Olaf: Yeah, but they do that on most of the Bonds. He's always mid-mission. This one, I don't know what he is. He's mid-something.

[6:50] J.J.: This one had no real setup. Nothing. And then, to close out the opening sequence, Richard Kiel's Jaws' parachute doesn't open. And he just crashes into the circus.

[7:03] Olaf: Which should be some sort of metaphor for what this movie is going to be. A whole circus sideshow that we crash into and somehow survive.

[7:12] J.J.: They kind of had established that Jaws was basically indestructible in the previous movie.

[7:18] Olaf: I know, but they lean into it quite a bit. I'm not trying to give it a pass. I'm just saying.

[7:25] J.J.: I know. This movie cost $30 million, which is nearly as much as the first eight films combined.

[7:32] Olaf: Yeah, it's wild. And that's not taking into account inflation. And wasn't the opening credit sequence cost more than Dr. No's budget?

[7:41] J.J.: A lot of the budget was just on the opening sequence.

[7:45] Olaf: Well, I mean, Dr. No was so criminally underfunded. But the fact that they spent that much money just on the title sequence.

[7:52] J.J.: Yeah, but this was the highest grossing Bond film for 16 years.

[7:59] Olaf: Till GoldenEye.

[8:00] J.J.: Yeah. When I read that, I didn't know that. Bananas.

[8:03] Olaf: Complete bananas.

[8:04] J.J.: Makes no sense.

[8:07] Olaf: No sense. It made like over $200 million, I think. And that's not even adjusted for inflation.

[8:12] J.J.: Oz showing up out of thin air on that plane makes more sense.

[8:18] Olaf: Than the fact that this movie. Than this was the highest grossing Bond movie for 16 years.

[8:24] J.J.: I will say this. And I'm a total outlier with what I'm about to say. But I feel I'm one of the very few people. I might be the only person I know that likes the theme song to this movie.

[8:37] Olaf: I know. Even Shirley Bassey doesn't like it. And she recorded it.

[8:41] J.J.: I know. This is Shirley Bassey's last James Bond theme song. The Dame. The Queen. Where are you?

[8:48] Olaf: I know. There's something about the. I know. I know. There's something about the music of it.

[8:56] J.J.: The melodic line of it. That I don't. For whatever reason. It hits me somewhere in the feels somewhere. And if I had to pull like a very. There aren't many bright spots to this movie. For me, that's one of them.

[9:10] Olaf: I mean, it's not the worst Bond theme.

[9:13] J.J.: No, it's not the worst Bond song.

[9:14] Olaf: But I know. I don't know. I'm not even going to say that it's a bad song. It's just. It's so weird.

[9:21] J.J.: It's a weird one. It's the same. They're at the late end of the 70s. They're really trying to hold on to it.

[9:27] Olaf: Yeah. Okay, so as we're watching this. I'm watching Roger Moore.

[9:34] J.J.: I had to write this down in my notes. Roger Moore. This is what I wrote. Roger Moore somehow ages several years between the Spy Who Loved Me and this movie.

[9:46] Olaf: And it's only been two years.

[9:47] J.J.: But yeah. I know. But he. It looks like he's aged like 10 years.

[9:51] Olaf: I know. Well, because he looked so great in Live and Let Die. He was like 45 in Live and Let Die. And he didn't look 45. He looked much younger.

[9:56] J.J.: No. Yeah. He looked way younger. But I think even in my notes. I make a comment about his age. For the next movie. But even in this one. He gets older. And the age of the Bond girls stays the same.

[10:10] Olaf: It's like McConaughey and Daisy and Fuse. I keep getting older. And the girls stay the same age.

[10:16] J.J.: And that's basically what's happening here is. Because Lois Childs. You got like perfect skin in this movie. The way they shoot her in this movie.

[10:23] Olaf: Oh yeah. She's gorgeous. Now she was pregnant when they were making this movie. So she's glowing.

[10:28] J.J.: She's got the glow possibly. But I agree. He ages significantly.

[10:34] Olaf: It was distracting. To be honest. I mean we went from a two year break. And I'm watching these back to back. So it really sticks out.

[10:42] J.J.: And I'm just like. Whoa. He's only 51.

[10:45] Olaf: While he's looking at. Well he's looking older.

[10:48] J.J.: Really?

[10:49] Olaf: Yeah. And the fact that he does three more after this.

[10:52] J.J.: I know. But I didn't think he looked that bad in A View to a Kill.

[10:57] Olaf: Yes he does. But we'll have that discussion.

[11:00] J.J.: Your candle in the window for this. For that movie is. Shines bright. I don't think it's that bad of a movie.

[11:07] Olaf: We're not talking about that one.

[11:09] J.J.: We're not that. We're not there yet. I will say. I wrote down in my notes. Probably the least interesting opening title sequence to a Bond movie.

[11:20] Olaf: Oh you just mean the credit sequence.

[11:22] J.J.: Yeah. Because you've got the music playing. And you know the girls and all that stuff. And I was like. This is so boring.

[11:30] Olaf: You know what's funny is that. I used to like pay attention to the opening sequence probably. Because I was like. Oh girls. But then it wasn't until like the Brosnan era. Where the opening sequences started getting really kind of cool.

[11:41] J.J.: Well they've always had some kind of interesting artistic spin to them. Whether.

[11:46] Olaf: Yeah. It's a bunch of naked silhouettes and stuff. But they made them interesting to look at.

[11:52] J.J.: Sure. This one. No. Not quite.

[11:57] Olaf: Yeah. Let's just start the movie.

[11:59] J.J.: Yeah. Well. Yeah. Let's start it so we can finish it.

[12:03] Olaf: Oh my goodness. No. We get Bernard Lee's final appearance as M.

[12:07] J.J.: Yeah. Talk about a guy who didn't age at all.

[12:10] Olaf: He looks the same age.

[12:11] J.J.: Yeah. He really did. From the Connery all the way to this one. He looked the same.

[12:15] Olaf: Yeah. I think the only thing that really changed about him was his contempt for Bond.

[12:20] J.J.: Which was still pretty high. The actor passed away during the pre-production for Your Eyes Only.

[12:26] Olaf: Had a good run.

[12:27] J.J.: Oh. He had a fantastic run. Much like a lot of these movies, the plot itself gets a little muddy and convoluted.

[12:35] Olaf: Yeah. It really doesn't make a lot of sense. And you have to think so hard about it that I was like, I'm not even putting in the effort.

[12:44] J.J.: I'm just going to take it at face value. So I have a lot of notes here, but they're all just about what is happening.

[12:54] Olaf: Well, so there's a scene where Bond meets Lois Childs, meets Holly Goodhead.

[13:00] J.J.: Yeah.

[13:01] Olaf: Okay. Who was originally, they wanted her for a Spy Who Loved Me. And then she ended up on a plane sitting next to Lewis Gilbert and she ended up getting this one.

[13:09] J.J.: She was, I liked what they tried to do with her much like Barbara Bach in Spy Who Loved Me. Which is make the Bond girl smart and capable.

[13:15] Olaf: And they try to make her character as interesting as possible.

[13:21] J.J.: Yeah. There's a scene where Bond gets to Drax's headquarters or something. And he gets put in this simulator that goes up in circles.

[13:27] Olaf: The G-Force simulator.

[13:32] J.J.: And for whatever reason, Drax already wants to kill him. We don't know why.

[13:37] Olaf: I wrote down in my notes, no clear reason why Drax wants harm to come to Bond.

[13:43] J.J.: Right. But let's do it anyway. And so he gets put in the simulator.

[13:49] Olaf: She's taken away to answer the phone call to get her out of there. But the whole time he's spinning out of control in the simulator. All I could think about was the scene in Spies Like Us.

[14:00] J.J.: With Chevy Chase and Dan Aykroyd where they're in the simulator also and their faces are just grinning for like looking like the Joker as they get out. So before that happened and we meet Drax, he's playing the piano.

[14:12] Olaf: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. You can clearly tell that he is not playing the piano in the close-ups; it is just not happening. Every time I saw Michael Lonsdale as Drax, I was picturing Peter Dinklage, and I don't know if it's because Peter Dinklage has played characters where he's got this sort of similar look. They have very similar facial features. Face structures and even timbres of Drax's voice reminded me of Dinklage, and I was like, oh, Peter Dinklage would chew this up so well.

[14:41] J.J.: Yeah, and probably make it more interesting.

[14:46] Olaf: Make it more interesting. He's probably one of the weaker—there were moments where he was doing his best, but the whole thing was just a complete garbage fire. It's not good. I wrote down this movie is so boring. Forty minutes feels like an hour and a half.

[15:03] J.J.: Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah, because you're like, I thought we were going to space. Yeah, I'm 40 minutes in and I'm like bored out of my mind. But so Drax does one of those classic villain bits where he releases somebody that disappointed him and then kills them.

[15:19] Olaf: Oh yes, oh, he's got the lady that let him down. The assistant, the one who—yeah, the pilot who then—

[15:23] J.J.: Yeah, yeah, yeah. So he lets her go and she runs; she starts running and they release the dogs.

[15:30] Olaf: The Dobermans.

[15:30] J.J.: The Dobermans, and I wrote down she runs so fast that it takes an hour for the dogs to catch her.

[15:37] Olaf: She didn't even have to run; she drove up in a golf cart.

[15:46] J.J.: Yeah. So then when she's released to go, she turns around thinking, oh, maybe something bad's gonna happen to me. I'm gonna run past the golf cart.

[15:53] Olaf: Yeah.

[15:53] J.J.: Into the woods, and then yes, I'm gonna outrun these two Dobermans. And that scene goes on for so long before they—

[16:00] Olaf: So dramatic.

[16:06] J.J.: It's just like—

[16:06] Olaf: So dramatic. She didn't get that far before you release the dogs, and she's clearly not running that fast.

[16:12] J.J.: I know. I think she was in heels too, just running through like the brush. The fact that she just runs past the golf cart.

[16:19] Olaf: Yeah.

[16:19] J.J.: That she was driving. Yeah. To me, it's like you don't deserve—

[16:23] Olaf: Yeah, no.

[16:27] J.J.: Now there's this chase scene with Bond in a gondola, and it makes no sense because the gondola is apparently a Q invention even though Bond—

[16:36] Olaf: Does he even talk to Q yet?

[16:36] J.J.: No, he just jumps in a gondola to get away, but it suddenly has all the gadgets.

[16:43] Olaf: Wait, this is the gondola—

[16:43] J.J.: No, he had his own driver; like he's like we gotta go. He kept referring to the driver of the gondola. I'm not again giving it a pass either, but it's not like he got into the same gondola he was in before with the same driver.

[16:55] Olaf: The driver I think gets killed; he gets a knife thrown at him or something.

[17:01] J.J.: Well, there's a coffin full of knives that opens up.

[17:06] Olaf: That drives—that they sort of—

[17:11] J.J.: Yeah, the coffin's going by, and then the assassin lifts up the coffin. So it was an MI6 gondola, but I agree. We don't know that. I'm not giving it a pass; I'm just saying it wasn't as random.

[17:18] Olaf: Well, because Bond's not sitting in the gondola going, thank you, special agent so-and-so for—

[17:23] J.J.: No, but he refers to him by name.

[17:28] Olaf: He could have got in, and the guy's like, hello, my name is Antonio. Nice to meet you, Antonio. Antonio, we're going this way.

[17:36] J.J.: Yeah, there was nothing. And then I know, and but it then suddenly turns into a hovercraft.

[17:42] Olaf: Right, that's the slap-in-the-face moment, not the fact that it was like whether or not it was an MI6 thing. I did say that this was the first time in a long time that M seems friendly to Bond, which is kind of appropriate since this is his last movie. We've had several years now of just unexcused hatred.

[18:12] J.J.: Yeah, go away. This is the first time I noticed the closing counters music.

[18:20] Olaf: Oh really? Did you clock that?

[18:25] J.J.: I'd never clocked that, and then of course I did a dive, and I was like, oh, okay, well this is—I like that; that's cool. So John shows up at this parade, and he's dressed up as this clown, which looks super, super creepy, especially in the alleyway.

[18:39] Olaf: Yeah, but in the alleyway, this woman is doing the worst job of escaping, and at one point he's about to get her, and all these people just come out, and she does nothing to escape. She does nothing to go get help, nothing.

[18:56] J.J.: Right, it surprises me that she lives because in moments like that, Jaws would get her; he would, you know, with the mouth on the neck, and then she would just be in the alleyway when Bond comes back.

[19:08] Olaf: Yeah, it was so—I don't know how she survived; she shouldn't have because—

[19:13] J.J.: And her character seems pretty pointless.

[19:18] Olaf: Yeah.

[19:18] J.J.: In terms of moving the plot along, like she's there just to get him into the warehouse or into the building so he can—

[19:24] Olaf: Yeah, it was weird. This is my note with Jaws: every Jaws scene that was really strong and decent and created this really memorable character from The Spy Who Loved Me gets totally erased as this movie goes on because all you're left with is this sort of caricature, and like I don't even recognize who this villain is.

[19:46] J.J.: I don't think that happened until he falls off the cable car and meets that girl; like up until that point, he is the villain he's always been, and he was supposed to be Bond's arch-nemesis, but then he started getting all this fan mail from kids saying, why does it have to be bad, and why can't he be a goody, and he decided to make him good. It was just so unwarranted, unearned, and just out of nowhere, just like his first appearance in this movie.

[20:18] Olaf: Oh my goodness, it's terrible. We do not see Q Branch until an hour and fifteen minutes into this movie. Randomly, I think it's hilarious at any time Bond is anywhere on a mission, MI6 feels they need to set up shop wherever that happens to be, just for Bond. Like, what about all the other double agents that are doing other things? I mean, we got in, what is it, in Man with a Golden Gun, they're in the ship and then in other places.

[20:47] J.J.: So he's riding off; he's riding a horse to the Magnificent Seven music, and you're like, well, the last time we saw Bond was in this ambulance because he was about to get captured with Lois.

[20:58] Olaf: Shouse, bye-bye-bye, Holly. And then we get to see the cool laser guns, the sound effects, and the visual effects, and it's just so bad. I do like the spinning balls that wrap around the neck of the dummy; that I liked.

[21:14] J.J.: Yeah, I guess. Hey, I'm trying to find anything I can grab onto here with this movie; it's not a whole lot. Roger Moore gets into another boat chase, and then the boat leaps over trees and lands, and I wrote the dummy in the boat clearly dies.

[21:29] Olaf: The dummies in all of these, like with the explosions, were so like, uh, cartoony and amazing; like it was so bad it was good when the boats blow up and the dummies are just flying into the water.

[21:46] J.J.: This is the last time we get that 007 theme from John Barry that was in the Sean Connery movies. Yeah, they play it through this boat scene; I was like, oh, this is kind of cool—the only time it was ever played in the Roger Moore era and the last time it'll ever be played.

[22:01] Olaf: I wrote down Bond follows a girl in a gown out for a stroll that clearly is a several-hour hike based on the terrain and location of the waterfall that's just next to him, and then suddenly far away he sees her way off in the distance by the waterfall, yeah, and then the next thing you know, he's right there parallel with her.

[22:27] J.J.: Yeah, and it was like this was a several-hour, not easy hike to make. He follows her; he gets—and then even when he gets into this whatever this rock cave lair is where all of these—

[22:41] Olaf: There's a grotto.

[22:41] J.J.: It's a grotto, and then he somehow manages to take the only direction in this grotto that's going to land him into this body of water because—

[22:48] Olaf: Yeah, and then he has to fight a boa constrictor with a pen.

[22:52] J.J.: Yeah, and these supermodel astronauts just stand and watch.

[23:01] Olaf: I also thought it was weird that in this underground space shuttle base, they built an office meeting room, which is incredibly similar to the Death Star. They built this directly under a launch pad.

[23:13] J.J.: Oh, is that what you mean when they get captured and they're in this meeting room that is located directly under a rocket?

[23:18] Olaf: Yeah, it's like, what? No sense.

[23:26] J.J.: And oh, and then Drax boards a shuttle; within seconds, so does Bond and Goodhead; they escape, no big surprise there, and then they have to find which—

[23:35] Olaf: Yeah, and Bond outruns these flames in a vent.

[23:43] J.J.: He outcrawls them; he doesn't outrun them; he outcrawls them. But I noticed like Drax gets into his space shuttle; he hasn't even sat down yet, and the countdown is happening.

[23:53] Olaf: That's happening with Bond too; it's like there's just a few seconds left, a few seconds. You're like, that would never happen; get buckled up.

[24:04] J.J.: Well, hey, this is not affiliated with any government entity; they're doing things seat of the pants, right? But then I also wrote no one notices six shuttle launches; nobody notices that a big space station was being built in space. Like how long did that—

[24:19] Olaf: Always know when there's a shuttle launch because there's so few of them, and then there's only like a couple locations where they do it, but this one—

[24:24] J.J.: Maybe six different space shuttles take off. Maybe this is one of those things where we were doing so many like flights to the moon and flights to space in the 70s; maybe they were just like, ah, this is just routine; this—we got six of them; maybe this is just every day; it's a Tuesday.

[24:43] Olaf: And then Tuesday we get the classic slow-mo movement.

[24:49] J.J.: Oh, I know.

[24:49] Olaf: Simulate gravity, and then I wrote this came out two years after Star Wars, but the effects seem like they were way before and only one year before Empire, so it's not like—

[25:04] J.J.: Oh man, Jaws somehow gets his girlfriend on the space station and has—

[25:11] Olaf: Yeah, how did that happen? I guess he probably had an arrangement; hey, look, yeah, this girl, if I'm coming, she's coming with me, or I'll bite your face.

[25:16] J.J.: I don't know, bite your neck off.

[25:24] Olaf: Yeah, and I just wrote the last hour of this is ridiculous and gets more ridiculous as it goes. Gravity turned off, yet everyone is walking around just slowly.

[25:30] J.J.: The space battle, so yeah, so the U.S. has to then go out there, and they get out there pretty quick; they do like they launch their shuttle, and they're out there in like ten minutes.

[25:42] Olaf: This is what I found even more ludicrous is that they get out there; the U.S. space shuttle gets out there already prepared for a laser fight in space. We're gonna open up the shuttle; I need you guys to be ready with your laser guns because this is about to go down.

[26:03] J.J.: What world are you going, hey guys, this is a suicide mission; we're going to space to have a laser fight; get ready.

[26:10] Olaf: No, yeah, with all this equipment that is relatively new to all of us; it's like, have we had a chance to field test this equipment? It's like Ghostbusters, switch me on.

[26:28] J.J.: Oh man, and then Drax gets blown out the airlock, and gosh, and then we get for the first time and I guess the last time Jaws speaks one line of dialogue.

[26:38] Olaf: Well, here's to us.

[26:46] J.J.: And he's got a really nice voice, and then for whatever reason, despite the fact that this space station is completely collapsing, there are hull breaches left and right, and Jaws and his girlfriend are left on there; Bond's flying away with Holly, and I think she's like, oh no, what about them? And he's like, don't worry, they'll be fine; they're only 100 miles from Earth.

[27:04] Olaf: Yeah, and then we get one line of dialogue, uh, we just found this girl and this giant have landed safely somewhere or whatever.

[27:10] J.J.: Yeah, it's so random because that space station was hurling into the depths of space; there was no way out. This whole movie is utter trash.

[27:23] Olaf: It was. I wrote down it's like the effects from the movie Airplane.

[27:31] J.J.: How dare you compare it to Airplane? Airplane is a classic.

[27:38] Olaf: It is, but they knew what they were doing, and they were making fun of it. This was trying to be serious but with the same effect.

[27:42] J.J.: With the same effect. This movie, I can't—again, going back to how much money this movie made because this movie clearly had a great opening weekend, but then subsequent weekends after that—

[27:53] Olaf: I know, it's crazy. I don't get it for it to stay at that level of success for that.

[28:01] J.J.: Welcome back to the Theater! This week, we continue diving deep into the Roger Moore Era of James Bond films.

[28:31] Olaf: That's right! We're talking about "Moonraker" and "For Your Eyes Only."

[29:01] J.J.: Grab your laser gun, blow up your Lotus, and settle in for more Moore!

[29:31] Olaf: So, let's kick things off with "Moonraker."

[30:01] J.J.: "Moonraker" is often seen as one of the more outlandish entries in the series.

[30:31] Olaf: Absolutely! I mean, we have Bond in space, which was a huge deal at the time.

[31:01] J.J.: Right, and it was released in 1979, right after the success of "Star Wars."

[31:31] Olaf: You can definitely see the influence of that film on "Moonraker."

[32:02] J.J.: The special effects were groundbreaking for the time, but the plot is a bit... well, let's say it's not the strongest.

[32:24] Olaf: Yeah, the villain, Hugo Drax, played by Michael Lonsdale, has some pretty grand plans.

[32:31] J.J.: His plan to wipe out humanity and start anew in space is definitely ambitious!

[33:01] Olaf: And let's not forget about the iconic gondola chase scene in Venice.

[33:31] J.J.: That scene is a classic! It really captures the essence of Bond's adventurous spirit.

[34:01] Olaf: Plus, the theme song by Shirley Bassey is just unforgettable.

[34:31] J.J.: "Moonraker" has its moments, but it also has a lot of campiness that some fans love and others... not so much.

[35:01] Olaf: Exactly! It's a mixed bag, but it's entertaining for sure.

[35:22] J.J.: Now, moving on to "For Your Eyes Only," which came out in 1981.

[35:31] Olaf: This film took a different approach, going back to a more grounded style.

[36:01] J.J.: Yes, it was a response to the over-the-top nature of "Moonraker."

[36:31] Olaf: The plot revolves around Bond trying to retrieve a lost British encryption device.

[37:01] J.J.: And it features some great action sequences, including the opening scene with the ski chase.

[37:31] Olaf: That scene is fantastic! It really sets the tone for the rest of the film.

[38:01] J.J.: And the villain, Aristotle Kristatos, played by Julian Glover, is much more realistic than Drax.

[38:06] Olaf: Definitely! Kristatos has a more personal motivation, which makes him a compelling antagonist.

[38:36] J.J.: Plus, the chemistry between Roger Moore and Carole Bouquet, who plays Melina Havelock, is great.

[39:06] Olaf: Their relationship adds depth to the story, which is something we didn't see as much in "Moonraker."

[39:36] J.J.: Overall, "For Your Eyes Only" is a solid entry in the Bond franchise.

[40:06] Olaf: I agree! It strikes a nice balance between action and character development.

[40:36] J.J.: So, which film do you prefer, "Moonraker" or "For Your Eyes Only"?

[41:06] Olaf: That's a tough choice! I think I lean towards "For Your Eyes Only" for its more serious tone.

[41:36] J.J.: Same here! It feels more like a classic Bond film.

[42:01] J.J. Gonzalez: What you also need to mention, just because it's kind of cool, is Jeremy Bullock as... was it Smithers? The one with the cast on his arm when Bond finally gets with Q and he's like at the cast who busts open the head of whatever. That dude was Bubba Fett in Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi. Like he was the actor who played Bubba Fett.

[42:26] Olaf Adsit: You're right and I wish I had given him more credit since, unbeknownst to him, several years later George Lucas was going to rob him of all of the work he had done.

[42:38] J.J. Gonzalez: Let's go back to Malina, the Bond girl, just for a moment. Because striking. Boring. So boring. That was my mom's beef from day one. From when I was a kid she's like, she is so boring. And I was like, I didn't know, what are you talking about? Boring. The other problem that I have with this movie is a lot of it is just a retread of On Her Majesty's Secret Service.

[43:03] Olaf Adsit: Yeah, on purpose.

[43:04] J.J. Gonzalez: The ski chase, it seems like you're just re-watching scenes of that. The plot itself is very similar. The beach fight that Roger Moore has. The beach fight you have the Bond girl is this woman from an upper thing and he ends up falling in love with her. Does he fall in love with her?

[43:21] Olaf Adsit: Yeah.

[43:22] J.J. Gonzalez: And then they're in the Alps again. This movie really is like a mixture of the For Your Eyes Only short story plus other Ian Fleming stories. But yes, a lot of these elements are very much On Her Majesty's Secret Service from Russia With Love. I mean, I would say it's mostly just On Her Majesty's Secret Service. Like the villains seem very similar. The thugs, like all the action beats. But Julian Glover is way more interesting than anything Drax was doing.

[43:52] Olaf Adsit: Oh, sure. I mean, it's Julian Glover. I mean, he's great. He's great. But he's not even doing a whole lot until near the end.

[44:03] J.J. Gonzalez: Until the end. I wanted more of Topol. He comes in like an hour into the movie.

[44:10] Olaf Adsit: Yeah, he was fun. But he's great. And I was like, please don't die. I mean, obviously, I know he wasn't, but like watching it, he would be the one and you're like, oh, man, he died sacrificing his life or whatever.

[44:20] J.J. Gonzalez: Don't forget, we had the hockey team of doom.

[44:22] Olaf Adsit: Yes. And we talk about the BB character.

[44:29] J.J. Gonzalez: Yeah. Even from an audience perspective, she's throwing herself at him. And he's like, I'm old. Why don't you go get dressed and I'll get you an ice cream? Because Bond has standards. You have to be of legal age, at least.

[44:42] Olaf Adsit: So here's the funny thing. She and Malina in real life are one year apart.

[44:49] J.J. Gonzalez: Oh, one year apart. I know. But they look vastly different. She looks like she's 16. I thought the scuba scenes were pretty decent considering they were fake.

[45:01] Olaf Adsit: Yeah. Oh, yeah. Because she couldn't. Yeah. She had an issue with Malina couldn't dive. So they had all the close up shots of her and Bond together were all faked. But for early 80s effects, it's still pretty good. You know, it's not real, but they do a really good job with it because you have scenes in the Lord of the Rings where they're supposed to be underwater and they're not.

[45:15] J.J. Gonzalez: And I would say that, though, pretty still better, very similar and and not that far off from each other. So John Glenn, to me, and I put this down in a note, he does a really good job because he did this even when he wasn't the main director for these Bond movies of really putting you into the action.

[45:32] Olaf Adsit: Going back to the ski scene in this movie where he's got the camera set up.

[45:37] J.J. Gonzalez: Yeah. He's putting you right into it. You feel like you're a part of the Mad Max hockey team. He just has a really good way of doing it. And how goofy was that? And then Roger Moore's throwing him into the hockey net.

[46:01] Olaf Adsit: Well, this is what I'm saying. He's put in these situations. I'm not blaming Roger Moore. I'm just I'm I'm talking about the movie. Right. The tone itself. What I what I love is where they're trying to identify Locke, you know, the assassin.

[46:12] J.J. Gonzalez: Oh, God, I didn't even put this in my notes because I was just like, I don't even. And it's not him. It's whoever the stand in for him is for this movie is like, well, quick to the identograph. Anyway, he's got a bond. He's got to go use this.

[46:25] Olaf Adsit: Yeah. What they call a dentograph with Q.

[46:31] J.J. Gonzalez: It's him. It's him and Q in this room describing who this guy is so they can put it into this big giant computer instead of just having an artist.

[46:44] Olaf Adsit: Right. I know. There's an easier way to do this when they're scuba diving and everything. And Molina and Bond have been captured and they're in the water and there's sharks everywhere. And Bond is bleeding. I thought it was so strange that one thug falls into the water and the sharks completely ignore a bleeding bond to just go after this non bleeding thug.

[47:01] J.J. Gonzalez: I would agree because it's out of the bogus out of the water and he's just like caught up and blood everywhere. You see him get cut on the coral. You're like, that's a deep cut. That's yes. Stitches. That's infection. That's a lot. But I just thought it was so strange that this one thug falls in the water and the sharks are like, no, let's get that guy because he's a lot.

[47:25] Olaf Adsit: Well, you wouldn't even have known he was there other than hearing the splash because you're you got all the blood in your face from this guy right in front of you.

[47:35] J.J. Gonzalez: So I take issue with earlier in the movie. They're down there scuba diving and they, for whatever reason, leave an oxygen tank down in the ocean. They don't really explain why they do it, except she takes off her oxygen tank and leaves it at the bottom of the ocean and then they whatever. And so then when they escape from getting dragged behind the boat, they're like, she's like, follow me in this vast body of ocean. You just happen to be right underneath where you happen to leave this oxygen tank.

[48:05] Olaf Adsit: Yeah, I'll take issue with that. I mean, it's definitely convenient. I could come up with reasons why she would have done that. But at the end of the day, it was a plot device.

[48:16] J.J. Gonzalez: The final scene where he's rock climbing, I thought was a good piece as well. The monks at that location didn't want them shooting there because they did the violent nature of Bond. So they were doing everything they could to try to make it impossible for the crew to do it. The stunt with Bond falling off the rock and getting caught, the stunt guy really does this.

[48:41] Olaf Adsit: Yeah, it's the same guy who does the stunt in Spy Who Loved Me. But man, how painful that stunt is. Because even though they tried to add some give, so it wasn't just a complete stop, you're going to feel that.

[49:01] J.J. Gonzalez: Also, the thug at the top of the cliff who could have easily dispatched Bond, but decided I'm just going to climb out there. I don't know why he just didn't wait for Bond to get up there and shoot. He had a gun.

[49:10] Olaf Adsit: He had a gun. All right, I'm just going to wait. I got nowhere to go.

[49:14] J.J. Gonzalez: Yeah, instead I'm going to climb out onto the cliff precariously and try to hammer out.

[49:19] Olaf Adsit: Yeah, because he wasn't even hooked up. He's just walking down with the ladder.

[49:23] J.J. Gonzalez: Yeah, I would have looked over and then, all right, hold on, go get a chair. I'm going to wait. He's going to be tired when he gets up here. Bring a book.

[49:31] Olaf Adsit: Yeah.

[49:32] J.J. Gonzalez: And then I'm going to just take him out.

[49:35] Olaf Adsit: Yeah. Also, when Molina shoots a guard with a crossbow, it seems like they're not that far down.

[49:39] J.J. Gonzalez: Oh, I know because that you're right. Because I was thinking there better be a reason why Bond is having to scale this cliff because it looks like they're just going to meet up right at the house or whatever it is. Columbo and Molina and all of them, they're down at the bottom.

[49:56] Olaf Adsit: They're way at the bottom.

[49:57] J.J. Gonzalez: Tents watching Bond make this climb that is very, very high. And she just has a crossbow and she shoots this guard at the top of the hill. And it's like maybe it was maybe it was an arrow that Q gave Bond.

[50:12] Olaf Adsit: There's a rocket arrow. There's a rocket arrow.

[50:15] J.J. Gonzalez: I don't know. It just it seemed like they could have stood up, walked around the boulder and stepped up onto where they needed to be.

[50:22] Olaf Adsit: So let me get this straight, because throughout this whole conversation of this particular movie, you don't seem to hold it in that high of a regard. Is this a movie that you're just kind of like or because to me, this is like his second best Bond movie.

[50:37] J.J. Gonzalez: Oh, my gosh. Roger Moore's second best Bond movie.

[50:40] Olaf Adsit: No, I would say Live and Let Die is the second best Bond movie.

[50:43] J.J. Gonzalez: That's fair. I would call that that's a third. That's this. This one's very interesting. I mean, it's he he's not doing a bad job. No one in it's really doing a bad job. It's inconsistent because they're trying to be serious and then they're still being goofy. And then a lot of the movie just feels like a retread, like a lot of it feels like Honor Majesty's Secret Service. And then we get some scuba stuff that feels like from other movies. It's just none of it felt all that original, whether it was safe, whether it was a retread or both. It felt it was just a better movie.

[51:19] Olaf Adsit: So do you think that you're just being overly generous because of because it came after Moonraker?

[51:26] J.J. Gonzalez: Yeah.

[51:27] Olaf Adsit: No, because you're giving it more. You're giving it more credit.

[51:30] J.J. Gonzalez: I'm not. No. And that's a great question. And the reason why I'm answering no so quickly is because growing up, I did see this movie quite a bit, but I had no it wasn't like, oh, this movie is so much better and it's so good because Moonraker was garbage because I didn't have that opinion. I wasn't connecting like Moonraker came out right before this one and this one followed it. And this is why.

[51:53] Olaf Adsit: So my opinion of for your eyes only isn't based off of the fact that Moonraker was so bad. I've always enjoyed for your eyes only.

[52:03] J.J. Gonzalez: Sure. Does it confirm my likeness because it came after Moonraker and Moonraker is garbage? Yes. But one has nothing to do. One isn't connected to the other.

[52:07] Olaf Adsit: OK, I would not put this as his second best because I'm going to be one of those people and not to jump ahead. I like the next movie, but that's more guilty pleasure than anything else.

[52:19] J.J. Gonzalez: We're not getting into that yet.

[52:20] Olaf Adsit: We're not. We're not. I'm just letting you know.

[52:27] J.J. Gonzalez: I like it. I don't I don't even know how. But it's it's guilty pleasure. It's it's I'll preface it with that as well. I would probably put this movie third or fourth best for Roger Moore.

[52:39] Olaf Adsit: Seven of them. So, I mean, it's he did a lot like I kind of want to put it at fourth. What's crazy is that this movie made one hundred and ninety four million dollars.

[52:48] J.J. Gonzalez: I know right under Moonraker. It was it was the second highest grossing by him. I think because of Moonraker, it didn't make as much as Moonraker, but it was close.

[52:59] Olaf Adsit: Yeah, it was. But then I don't the fact that no Bond movie after this beats Moonraker in it. I think there's a reason for that. A lot of it, some of it. We're going to talk about it as we go on. The movies themselves, Roger Moore still playing Bond. And then even as we know, we're not spoiling anything. The Timothy Dalton era wasn't received well and I think was underappreciated for it was too soon.

[53:24] J.J. Gonzalez: It was underappreciated for its time. And and that showed in in box office.

[53:28] Olaf Adsit: So because if the Timothy Dalton ones had come out when Casino Royale and all those came out, it would have been well received because time.

[53:34] J.J. Gonzalez: Yeah, it was Dalton did it first.

[53:39] Olaf Adsit: You're right. It was too soon ahead of his time.

[53:42] J.J. Gonzalez: Yeah. And so that has a lot to do with a box office, too.

[53:45] Olaf Adsit: But that is Moonraker. That is for your eyes only.

[53:50] J.J. Gonzalez: Yes. Like Olaf said, we're doing the hard work for you guys. And some of the hardest work is coming up soon.

[53:58] Olaf Adsit: I'm looking forward to it because we're getting into that.

[54:01] J.J. Gonzalez: Well, so I will say this, especially from like from for your eyes only to now as a kid, this was my immersion of Bond is this era. And then, of course, I would then fall into the Connery to figure out what came before. But for me growing up, my introduction to Bond was really like for your eyes only.

[54:20] Olaf Adsit: And well, Roger, the Roger Moore movies were just on TV all the time.

[54:25] J.J. Gonzalez: Yeah, they were. They were on TV all the time.

[54:30] Olaf Adsit: All the time. TBS had it's like 13 nights of Bond or whatever it was for years.

[54:34] J.J. Gonzalez: But Moonraker, so, so bad, so goofy for your eyes only. It's fine.

[54:42] Olaf Adsit: Oh, I can't wait till we get to the next.

[54:44] J.J. Gonzalez: Oh, I.

[54:45] Olaf Adsit: Peaks and valleys. Spoiler alert.

[54:47] J.J. Gonzalez: I do not like the next one.

[54:52] Olaf Adsit: I can't believe I got to rewatch it, but I'm doing it for you.

[54:54] J.J. Gonzalez: I can't wait doing it for you. I can't wait to rewatch it.

[54:57] Olaf Adsit: Well, guys, we hope you enjoyed this episode of our continuing coverage of the Bond franchise. We're getting through it. This is the grind part, but we hope you had fun.

[55:09] J.J. Gonzalez: We always have fun talking about these. I mean, when they're as absurd as some of these are, it's just fun to talk and laugh about them. So join us for our next episode. And until then.

[55:20] Olaf Adsit: To be continued.

[55:21] J.J. Gonzalez: Back to the movie theater is hosted by J.J. Gonzalez and Olaf Adsit.

[55:30] Olaf Adsit: Produced by me, Johnny Clay, J.J. Gonzalez and Olaf Adsit.

[55:35] J.J. Gonzalez: Theme song and incidental music by The Dimes.

[55:38] Olaf Adsit: Visit us at bttmtpodcast.com for trivia, play alongs, merch and more.

[55:44] J.J. Gonzalez: That's bttmtpodcast.com.

[55:48] Olaf Adsit: Follow us on Instagram and TikTok and find us on YouTube at Back to the Movie Theater with J.J. and Olaf.